Dating with Intention

Hey Guys & Girls!

I thought I’d be a little different with this post and decide to dive a little deeper into my personal life. As I’ve learned to get comfortable with the social media platform and sharing bits and parts of myself, I thought it would be a nice change to talk about my recent dating encounters.

I don’t plan on going into every detail but more of a checkup of where I’ve been with my experience in the dating world. It’s no lie that I am a very attractive woman and with this in mind, you can imagine the type of guy glances I get during one day. The gas station, Wal-Mart checkout lane, at work AND my all-time favorite, THE GYM. πŸ˜€ *Que eye roll*

Since having these fair share of encounters, I started to get the feeling that maybe I should try and be more obvious with my non-body language cues back. Now, I’ve got the blatant *not interested* gaze look down pretty well when it comes to the gym creep from guys I even know how to play it off. But in terms of when I want to show interest back? I tend to be a deer in the headlights.

Just two weeks ago, I went out with a couple of girlfriends to the club and we had a blast! We had a couple drinks bought for us and were able to get to the dancefloor and at no surprise, I started attracting some really cute onlookers πŸ™‚ . But one of two things usually go through my head at this point in the night 1. I wonder if that guy looks the age he is, and 2. do I see a ring on his finger.

I realized I really wanted to flirt with intention because a fun night out can turn into a girl fight real quick if your not careful LOL. The old me would make sure to check one of the two off of this list and then continue my cute little flirtatious moves further. But the new me has decided, I don’t need a hot encounter in a club to know I had my night checked off.

Then comes times where I am not in a dark lit setting and want to flirt in public more easily. What angle do I choose? Sweet and sultry during our conversation or head spaced and engaged in what he has to say? Now, at this point you may be wondering why I’m overthinking this because I look like someone who never had trouble getting the hot guy to notice her right away, but, I was a complete tomboy growing up and only blossomed into comfort with my physical beauty in my early 20’s.

Because I tended to focus on early life achievements ex., learning about credit history, finishing college, going after that career starter job, getting my workout goals planned etc., I left dating and guys outside the door until I was ready to invite them and that conversation in towards the end of the achievement track.

Just like their are 2 sides to the coin, there was two sides to my decision. I had a chance to be with some really great guys and some not so great guys and even stepped out of my comforts to date someone who already family planned earlier in his life and welcome a younger energy into our relationship.

But as many relationships go, there came a point where you either have to blend with one another’s goals or distinctify your wants out of the relationship. This isn’t always an end-all-be-all but it is something you should have thought through before putting more intention into the relationship. For us at the time, he decided to re-evaluate his broken family scenario and I decided to stay the course with my career pursuits.

I feel like I grew a lot in my own wants, and for that, I have nothing bad to say about the relationship even though we didn’t see things to the end like we wanted. So for anyone whose trying to decide how they want to establish themselves back into the dating scene, let me tell you this. DONT do it if your trying to pass the time by because one of you will notice and the other will look for the exit sign. Make sure you are straight forward with your intentions and be smart and safe when things take the next turn in attraction. ❀

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