Hi Guys!

Close family and friends who know me know that my family of 7 emigrated to the US when I was six and a half and English wasn’t our first language. My father was the only one who had high school English classes under his belt and my mom was proficient in having learned it for her job at the Angolan Airport at the time. From there, we first lived in Atlanta, Georgia to acclimate after leaving our country of Angola.

I don’t remember much about those 3 years in Georgia but I remember vividly having to move to Nebraska. Ewing , Nebraska to be precise. Up until that point, my siblings and I had to prepare with the little English we knew. We spoke Portuguese in the household and out in public but as the pressure of our first day of school loomed closer, I could tell the tenseness in the household changed.

My parents had to make the difficult choice to cut our native tongue in the house and strictly speak English. For how long? Well that wasn’t really defined yet. When that happened, I rebelled as anyone could imagine. I didn’t like the feeling of not knowing what classmates were saying most of the time and didn’t like how I had to still force this unfamiliar language into everything I did at home.

My biggest fear was not being able to speak Portuguese again and lose my childhood memories with the identity I knew to be familiar with, with my family back home. I knew my parents didn’t want me or my siblings to feel the turbulence of all the change happening but after awhile, I still felt a menacing feeling that an unfamiliar presence was lurking around. Because of that, my siblings and I knew to stay together always and not go too far away from the church doors, the school, or our house.

Things started turning around and my school realized I wasn’t slow or creating make-believe stories I just understood the teachers vocal inflection first and was able to respond by mimicking my classmates first.

Then I found I was good at acting in front of people because I found my footing. Yet the struggle to find that comfortable recollection with God still grew as I tried to remember the things I used to like before all the moving out of a familiar place had to happen.

My instincts to question my surrounds subsided enough for me to learn what a safe space felt like and I even started making friends easier. I picked up reading and my extracurricular activities in school shined my talent of public speaking.

Today, I believe my past in my immigration story is what helps me to better understand conflict resolution and utilize my talents of being in the world of I.T. while better understanding my social surroundings. To whomever needs to read this – don’t give up!

-X.O. Gem ❤