So your probably wondering where my posts have been this week. And first I want to say, my apologizes for my lack of a better update with this weeks posting and secondly, you are a busy person with a circus of a life, so you understand that the ‘struggle-bus‘ is a real thing 😉 . I always hear my content creators and YouTuber’s give their audience a moment explanation of where they’ve been and what has been gnawing at them and I felt you guys deserved one too.
This March has probably been the toughest Ides of March for me. I hadn’t realized how much I was demanding from myself to the point that my body was feeling the affects. I wouldn’t say that what I had been feeling was work exhaustion but definitely work overload. I’m a very passionate person and when I start something I give it my 110% attention. Yet the more ambition I was putting out was when I realized I was exhausting more than I was getting back.
Then, I decided to take on a side project in preparation for my masters proposal and it was during the eye of the storm, did I realized I had a lot of sh*$ happening all around me. I definitely made it to the finish line and got my proposal approved but I felt like I went through the ringer. February was filled with sights of love but March was filled with lessons in tough love. Tough love to get back up after you fall. Tough love to say that truthful thing no matter how much it hurt and tough love to get back to the front lines of the battle you were fighting . . . Thankfully, I remembered it was Woman’s History Month and Captain Marvel was on my side this time around.
Yet as I got back to my adulting did I hear the silent words ‘step back’ come to me in my moments of restriction. Stepping back from my over-eager plans with my studies, stepping back in my dedication to work projects, and letting the true light shine on the things I have been protecting close to my chest. I guess March taught me that stepping back is not a de-motion in your life but a moment to allow your goodness to take the wheel. Stepping back helped me see what it is I was really wanting to come into existence and what it was I was fighting against.
Don’t be fooled, March definitely kept me on my toes and gave me reserve when I was unsure that I had it. This month helped me see how much more open I had become with people and how much of a presence I had made in the lives of others, so I hope April doesn’t get in my way because I have some tricks up my sleeve! – xoxo ❤