Are We Okay, Not Being Okay?

I have battled with myself on how to start this post. As anyone who’s been tuning into the news up to the present day would know, this global pandemic has been an intruder in our daily lives. Mental states have been shaken. Relationships have been tested. And work has been a tug of war. And I’ll be honest, after February my world started melting together in different shades of anguish.

I’m used to being more upfront and head strong with my positivity and even had a great post to keep my blogging spirit going in March, but as soon as the lock down hit, I felt pushed down in my own views. I questioned why society was made to feel just as adolescent about how the government was telling us how we had to live in this wake of hysteria.

I’ll always hang strong to my faith but my mind just shattered at the thought of not being to interact with anyone like our 22nd-century self knows how to do. Going to Target to day-shop has been demeaned to 6 feet distance and unless you have a reason to shop, the atmosphere shifted right before our eyes and made one feel like you shouldn’t be there. Social meetups at restaurants and family owned shops have been closed because of this invisible intruder.

By the time April came, I felt silenced. Silenced with my own financial labor because I felt like if I didn’t show up there, I wasn’t showing up in my life. I can only imagine how work-life balance has been a majority struggle for others lately.

Gyms were freezing out their flock, beauty parlors and activity centers were put up signs of vague return. Movie theaters and even neighborhood parks were being patrolled. The more and more I saw distancing orders in effect, the more my depression was banging at my faith-built door and it’s no coincidence that May is Mental health awareness month and I am now gaining the strength to right this message.

I followed this new grain and now I’m done feeling like I’ve let Uncle Sam monitor my bank account and my living experiences. I need to keep breathing my own thoughts even if a mask is in the way to remind me how many times I’ve been exhaling in a room. I Need to socially acknowledge people even when I’m walking down the street to make sure our human connection hasn’t been lost in all of this.

Even though my anti-social tendencies has been tested, I feel a little closer to myself again, knowing I’ve made contact with my own platform again. ❤

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